Days in the Sun
Spike and the kids had been in the basement for almost an hour when Buffy gave in to her curiosity and joined them. Spike had been training them – whatever he meant by that, how could you train a child to be a Slayer anyway? – for two weeks now. Two weeks before, she had given in to his argument that, whether she liked it or not, their children were Slayers, born fighters, and that it was unlikely a prophecy would have announced their births if they were destined to live quiet, uneventful lives. And yet she hoped so much that it could be the case, that they would never come across demons, with the exceptions of Spike and Angel, of course. That life of danger had been forced on her. She just wished her beloved children could be spared all she had had to endure. All the fights and fears, responsibilities and losses, physical pain and mental suffering. She had survived, yes, she had found allies, some of them unlikely, she had lived longer than any other Slayer and even raised a family, which no Slayer before her had done. But nothing could make her forget the hardships, and she only wanted her children to be safe.
And yet she had agreed to let Spike teach them how to fight. She was very much aware he could have done so without her consent, and was grateful he had waited for her to approve of it. Or rather, he hadn’t wanted her to approve, he had waited for her to understand it was all for the children’s safety. If they never met anything demony, knowing how to defend themselves couldn’t hurt them. If they did, it could save their lives.
She had relented, but for two weeks she had refused to come down with them. Being part of their training was just too much, more than she could bring herself to do. She didn’t deny they were part demon, didn’t deny they might be Called as she had been, but she that didn’t mean she had to like the idea.
As silent as she could be, she stepped down the stairs, sitting on one of the lower steps, and observed without a word. She didn’t know what she had expected, chaos maybe, or a big game of tag, but certainly not that. In front of her baffled eyes, her husband was guiding all three children into doing what looked like simplified tai chi motions. She didn’t even know he practiced tai chi – she had never seen him do anything like that before when they trained together. She herself had not explored that particular art in a very, very long time, for it brought back somewhat painful memories of another vampire. How many surprises like this did he still have in store for her?
She had no doubt that he was aware of her presence, but he remained focused on their little angels, patiently correcting their positions and giving soft words of encouragement. At nine years old, William seemed to have a better grasp on the motions than his older sister, but she wasn’t bad at all herself, or so it seemed to Buffy. As for Joyce, from the height of her recently reached four years old, she was just adorable, imitating her siblings as well as she could. They had their backs to her, and hadn’t noticed her, and for a little while she just watched them, strangely proud and sad all at once.
Without warning, Joyce suddenly abandoned her position and came running to her mother, holding out her arms to be picked up, and Buffy obliged, with a smile but no word.
“Why don’t you train with us, mom?” Lisa’s voice asked out of the blue.
The kid hadn’t turned to her, nor given any sign she knew Buffy was there until she spoke. She didn’t break her rhythm either, still following Spike’s directions.
“I prefer to just watch, honey,” she replied carefully, stroking Jay’s light brown hair.
It had been a frequent question, the past few days. The kids knew their parents trained together in the basement, and they couldn’t understand why Buffy was not training with them now. How could she explain to them how she felt about that? Maybe, one day, when they would be older, she would be able to, but not now.
Joyce wiggled in her lap and finally escaped her embrace, laughing as she ran back to stand between her siblings again. Spike gave Buffy a small smile then, as if inviting her to join them too, but she shook her head lightly and he didn’t insist, returning his whole attention to his students. Buffy watched them a little while longer, and eventually returned upstairs, as silently as she had come down, her curiosity, and some of her doubts, having found an answer.