Days in the Sun





June 5th, 2020 – Fangs (2)

Taking a deep breath, William knocked on the office door. He could hear soft clicking noises inside, which meant Spike was typing on his computer. He hated to disturb him while he was working, but he had been trying to make himself come here for quite a while, and if he didn’t go through with it now, he didn’t know when he would be ready to try again.

“Come in,” a slightly annoyed voice called, even as the clicking noises continued unabated, the rhythm unfaltering.

William opened the door and took a hesitant step inside. He remained on the threshold, his eyes on his father, who still hadn’t turned to look to see who was disturbing him. William had no doubt that he knew it was him, though.

“Can I talk to you for a minute?” he asked, and his tone betrayed his reluctance at being there.

Spike’s gaze finally came to him, and after two seconds of silence, William had the distinct impression that he now held no secrets for the too piercing eyes.

“Sure,” came at last the reply. “Come in, have a seat.”

William looked around for a chair, but the only one was the rocking chair by the window, and that just wouldn’t do. With a quick “Be right back”, he left the room, went to grab a chair in the dining room and brought it back. He made sure to close the door behind him, he didn’t want any of the girls to hear this particular discussion. It was embarrassing enough as it was.

Settling the chair in front of the desk, just across from his father, he sat down and met his gaze, which was all at once amused, puzzled, and wary. The wariness, he thought he could understand. Despite their wordless reconciliation, things had been a bit tense between them since the incident of three days before. Spike seemed guarded around him, not as relaxed as he was with the girls, and William could admit that he was a bit uncomfortable too. They had never fought before that day, verbally or otherwise, and even if he had been acting under the influence of shock, William was very much aware that he had raised his hand to his father and that he had called him a monster. And he wasn’t sure which was worse.

“So, how’s the new book coming along?” he asked, gesturing at the laptop in front of Spike.

“Just about done,” Spike replied, leaning back in his armchair as he observed William curiously. “So, the faster we get to the point, the faster I can finish. What bothers you so much?”

Even if it was hard, William made himself meet the blue eyes that were twins of his.

“I’m sorry I hit you,” he blurted out. “And sorry for saying bad things to you. I was just so scared, I…”

His voice wavered even as a tiny smile rose to Spike’s lips.

“I understand,” Will was relieved to hear his father say. “No hard feelings.”

With a nod and a smile of his own, William tried to form the next words. He had thought the ‘birds and bees’ conversation a few years back had been the most awkward thing, but this promised to beat all records.

“What else is bothering you?” Spike asked as William still couldn’t make himself ask. “Get it out, son.”

Will could feel the heat rising in his cheeks even as he spoke the words.

“Am I going to… go all… vampy every time I… you know?”

For a few seconds, Spike was left speechless. He hadn’t, not even for an instant, imagined that Will would come to him with this kind of questions, but in retrospect, he should have seen it coming. And he had thought nothing could top the awkwardness of their discussion about the ‘facts of life’…

“It is not a necessity,” he said slowly. “The demon will only come out if you let it.”

There was the barest flicker of relief in William’s eyes, before he frowned, seemingly concerned.

“So, how do I stop it?”

“What do you mean, how do you…”

A sudden suspicion struck Spike. He had never given it much thought, but he had somewhat assumed that William could shift to game face as Lisa could. If he could, repressing the demon from coming out wouldn’t have been much of a problem. But the fact that he was asking how…

“Can you shift?” Spike asked, cocking his head to one side as he considered his son.

“Shift?” William repeated. “You mean, get all vampy? No, I can’t do that. Not on purpose.”

Frowning, Spike tried to think fast. He had once spent some time teaching William how to push the mask down despite pain, but he now needed to make him bring it up if he was to successfully learn to refuse it. One way to bring the demon features out to play would have been to hurt the boy physically, and Spike most certainly wasn’t taking that road. Another way was to make him angry enough. There had been gold in the clear blue eyes three days before, enough gold that, if Buffy hadn’t arrived when she had, William might have shifted by pure reflex. Making him angry again shouldn’t be so hard…

“Why would you want not to get vampy, as you say?” Spike said, making an effort to plaster a smirk onto his lips. “Didn’t your girl enjoy it? If you did it right, she should have.”

William’s eyes widened at the words, and his head jerked back as if Spike had just slapped him. Shocked, but not quite angry yet.

“I can show you,” he continued his taunting. “Seeing how the bird tried to make you look more like me that one time, I’m sure she wouldn’t mind if we traded…”

“Shut up!”

This time, as William jumped to his feet, there were definitely gold flakes in the blue of his eyes. More and more of them.

“That’s it,” Spike said coolly, all taunting gone from his voice now. “Your game face is trying to come out, isn’t it? Don’t just let it loose, make the conscious decision to let it come forward. Now.”

A flash of surprise ran through the teen’s face, replaced by concentration. His features almost seemed to flicker between human and vampire, before finally settling on the latter. As he raised now golden eyes to Spike, the vampire couldn’t help the shiver that ran down his spine. He couldn’t let the sight freeze him now, though. He had a job to do. The same job he had been trying to do for about twenty years, now. Be a father.

“The exact same way you just pulled the game mask out,” he explained, “you can push it down when it’s trying to come forth. It’s just a matter of concentration. Since concentrating might not be the easiest thing to do when you are… doing other things, it might be a little hard to get the hang of it. But it will become easier with time and practice. Shift out of it now.”

Blinking wildly, William sat back down in his chair, as if the meaning of Spike’s words was finally getting through to his mind, as he finally understood why his father had deliberately made him angry. It took him some time to comply, and return to his more human features, and even as he did he brought a hand to his face, as if to check.

“Can you bring it back up?” Spike asked quietly.

William frowned as he closed his eyes tightly shut, and after long seconds of struggle he had shifted to his game mask again, and then out, a little more easily this time it seemed.

“So, if I train myself to get vampy and unvampy on demand, I can control it all the time?” William wondered out loud.

“You should be able to,” Spike confirmed with a nod. “It might not work every time, but you will get better at it. And if…”

Hell, why was the idea of William biting his girl nauseating to Spike?

“If it doesn’t work and you can’t help it,” he forced himself to finish, “try not to bite her neck. Shoulder is less dangerous. Less noticeable, too.”

The young man frowned at that, suddenly looking almost… rueful? His gaze fell down to his hands on his knees, making Spike wonder what was going on in his head.

“What now?” he demanded, a bit more harshly than he meant to.

“I… I liked it,” William murmured. “The taste… Is there something wrong with me? I’m not a vampire, am I? So why did I like the taste of blood?”

Spike’s throat was suddenly very tight, but he had to answer, he knew he had to.

“No, you’re not a vampire,” he said softly. “Not a monster. Blood… as a baby, you needed it. I suppose your body remembered it when you tasted it again. But you don’t need blood. Because of me, of what I am, you are not completely human, but you are... If I could give you normal, I would, but it’s just…”

The vampire’s voice broke. He had always accepted that his children were out of the ordinary, and had tried to make Buffy admit it too, but seeing how this affected Will, guessing the anguish of his son, he suddenly wished for things that couldn’t be.

“It’s OK, Dad,” William said quietly, a tentative smile gracing his lips. “I’ll just learn to control it. I wouldn’t have wanted anyone else for a father, you know.”

Surprised despite himself by the admission, as well as relieved and pleased beyond belief, Spike returned his son’s smile, and tried very hard not to spill the tears that were filling his eyes.