“I think none of them told Giles.”

Distracted by her fingers drumming a soft tattoo over his heart, Spike didn’t immediately understand what Buffy was referring to. She had shown up after the Scoobies’ meeting to tell him about it, and he was grateful for that. It was nice of her to keep him informed of what was going on, even if he would have preferred to be there. Especially now that he knew Finn had been present. But she was probably right; it was safer for him not to expose himself any more than necessary. Safer, also, not to be in the same room as the wanker. Although safer for whom was still to be determined.

“I’m pretty sure he would have said something if they had mentioned it,” she continued when he didn’t answer. “I can see his reaction from here.”

“His reaction to what?” he asked, stifling a yawn.

The drumming on his chest turned into a playful tap and as she sat up on the bed, she mock-glared at him.

“If I’m boring you, you might as well say it,” she pouted.

“Hmm… pouty lips…”

She laughed when he caught her waist and pulled her atop him to kiss her thoroughly. He started sliding his hands under her tank top but she pulled away again and shook a finger at him.

“No time for that,” she admonished. “That’s not what I came here for.”

“Doesn’t mean we can’t,” he said with a little waggle of his eyebrow. “And we can make it quick…”

She shook her head, apparently unaffected by the offer; but if he believed the delicious scent of arousal coming from her, it was all an act.

“I just wanted to tell you what was going on,” she repeated. “But I can see you don’t care.”

She was pouting again, but this time she wasn’t joking and it sobered Spike instantly.

“I do care,” he assured her as he reached for her and gently pulled her back where she had been before, stretched out alongside him. “Been listening to you. Just find it strange that the Initiative gets all the demons and we don’t get to fight; but I’m not exactly going to offer them my help.”

The drumming of her fingers resumed, regular and somehow soothing.

“Yeah, I didn’t expect you to. Riley asked me to give them a hand though; so, I might have to go and play nice every now and then. Including tonight.”

Spike bit his tongue at that, unwilling to go through another round of arguing about the Initiative in general, Riley Finn in particular. For reasons he couldn’t comprehend, Buffy actually seemed to trust the soldier and to think she needed whatever information he would share. Spike wouldn’t have minded so much if he hadn’t witnessed the way the wanker looked at her; and it didn’t help that Finn had told them that the soldiers had accidentally destroyed the ring of Amara when they had tried to study it. That particular blow had been harder on Spike than he had let anyone know; part of him had still hoped that eventually he would get it back and get a second chance to be in the sun with his girl.

“And what was it that they didn’t tell Giles?” he changed the subject to safer grounds.

“What do you think?”

He could practically hear the eye roll in her voice.

“About you and me. None of them said anything about it to me, and it looks like Giles doesn’t know. I would have thought they’d run to tell him. I was even wondering if I really said it or if I had only dreamed of doing it.”

There was a hint of wistfulness in her voice that puzzled Spike and he shifted their bodies until he could look straight at her.

“You did say it,” he murmured and pressed his lips to hers. It was a simple kiss, merely a touch, nothing that would spark more than they could share at that moment. In a breath, it was over and Buffy sighed.

“I should go,” she said dejectedly. “Have tons to do.”

He didn’t reply to that; if he said anything, he would be pleading for her to stay, and he didn’t want to sound like a clingy child. Slowly, she rose from the bed, straightening her clothes a little. “Oh, did I tell you? Oz came back.”

He raised a surprised eyebrow. “Did he, now? That’s going to be interesting, with Red and her new friend.”

She frowned, seemingly puzzled. “Her new friend? What new friend?”

As he reached for his pack of cigarettes, Spike considered her thoughtfully. It wasn’t his place to tell if she hadn’t noticed, but then again…

“The blonde girl? What’s her name again… Lara?”

“You mean Tara?” Buffy shook her head incredulously. “They’re not… whatever it is you’re suggesting.”

Spike’s lips curled around his cigarette. Buffy could be so blind sometimes; it could be amusing when her blind spot wasn’t set on him. “If you say so, luv. Now you’re going to give me a kiss before you abandon me?”

Her nose scrunched up in distaste as she gestured at the fag. “Not when you’re smoking.”

Grinning, she blew him a kiss from the tips of her fingers, and he smiled as he watched her go, her parting words echoing after her. “I’ll see you tonight after patrol.”

Still annoyed, Buffy stopped and hid behind a crypt’s wall, listening carefully for any sound of following footsteps. She was always careful, when she went to see Spike, not to allow herself to be followed by anyone, especially the Initiative. She wouldn’t put it past Riley to try to follow her. He was certainly a good man, who believed he was acting for the good of all humans; but sometimes, he could be rather stubborn, especially when they discussed demons. He had shown it again earlier that evening and had irritated Buffy beyond words.

They had been talking about the afternoon meeting when he had asked about Oz. Distracted, Buffy had let it slip that he was a werewolf. Riley’s reaction had been immediate and unequivocal. Oz wasn’t fully human, so Willow was wrong for having feelings towards him. Buffy had expected him to say the same thing about her and Spike before realizing that he didn’t know. He had seen her and the vampire together, yes, but he still thought they had only slept together because of the haunting. It wasn’t hard to guess how he would react if – when – he learned the truth, and Buffy was now wondering if whatever information he passed on was worth the aggravation of his disapproval.

Reassured that no one was following her, Buffy started walking again, her thoughts returning to questions that had been troubling her since telling her friends about Spike and her. She hadn’t planned to do it – not so soon, not like that – but she didn’t regret it. If only to see Spike’s delighted surprise, it had been worth it. She simply couldn’t understand why neither Willow nor Xander had tried to talk to her about it yet, why they acted as if nothing had changed yet often wouldn’t meet her eyes, why they obviously hadn’t told Giles. Not that she was in any hurry for Giles to know.

She pushed all of these little worries and annoyance away from her mind as soon as she reached the crypt. She didn’t knock; she didn’t have to. Just as she was reaching for the door, it opened and Spike appeared behind it. He didn’t say a word, merely grinned, and she returned the easy smile as she stepped in.

All things considered, their relationship was still new, but already she was so completely comfortable with him that it felt like years had passed. It was hard to believe that it had taken her so long to let herself fall in love. It was even hard to remember what she had feared so much, especially when his lips, tongue and hands were playing her body like a finely tuned instrument.

“Staying the night?” he asked, a rumble in the hollow of her throat.

“Not sure,” she teased. “Think you can convince me?”

His laugh was deep and sent shivers down Buffy’s back as he divested her of her jacket.

“I’ll try my best,” he assured her, and yanked at the sides of her camisole. She started to protest about the torn buttons she could hear rolling on the floor of the crypt but his mouth was already on her, closing over her still covered breast, and a few lost buttons were suddenly no longer important.

She allowed herself to be led to the couch and pushed down onto the soft cushions, whimpering slightly when his mouth left her body for an instant. It returned as soon as he had divested her of what remained of her camisole and her bra; and she arched off the sofa and toward him as the mere tip of his tongue flickered against one puckered nipple and then the other.

“Anything you want, luv?” he chuckled.

“You’re a tease,” she breathed.

“Am I, now?”

Before she could reply, his lips were on her again and he was suckling at her breast. She mindlessly tangled her fingers in his hair, trying to pull him closer. The hint of blunt teeth against her burning flesh had her soon moaning aloud. She closed her eyes tight, concentrating only on the sensation of his mouth and, soon, his fingers. A flick of his wrist and her pants were undone; a tug and they were at her feet along with her panties. So much for pretty underwear, she dimly thought. She expected the first flick of his thumb against her clit and hummed at the threads of pleasure it sent through her. His lips and tongue started gliding down her body, following the underside of her breast, drawing curved lines down to her bellybutton that he thoroughly explored, still lower with blunt teeth scraping against her hip, across her thigh… She practically jumped off the couch when he blew softly against her clit.

“Convinced yet?”

Having no clue what he was talking about, she raised her head and gave him a blank look.

“I guess not, then,” he laughed; the vibrations, so close to her core, were at the same time too much yet not enough. She used the grip she had on his hair to push him were she needed him. This time when he laughed, his lips were brushing against her; she groaned her appreciation wordlessly.

A wicked tongue that made a point of teasing her quickly joined caressing lips. It fluttered against her, never in any spot long enough to truly satisfy, never getting close enough to the bundle of nerves that was crying for attention. Buffy started wiggling, trying to get him where she so wanted him, but a hand on each of her thighs stilled her. At the same instant, careful teeth closed on her clit and nibbled gently, and she gasped, lying as still as she could now so as not to dislodge him. His right hand slid up to massage her breast, his left one down between her thighs; clever fingers found their way inside her and started stroking this spot that made everything so bright, so sharp…

Fireworks behind closed eyelids left Buffy gasping for breath, and she barely realized that Spike was carrying her downstairs until she felt the mattress under her. When her vision adjusted to the near darkness, she saw Spike getting rid of his clothing before joining her on the bed.

“Nice?” he murmured as he pressed against her side.

“Very,” she sighed. “I love your mouth.”

“Only my mouth?”

The petulant look on his face was delicious and she leaned to kiss him, her taste faintly on his lips.

“All of you,” she promised as she reached between them and lightly squeezed his engorged cock. His eyes briefly closed as a soft moan passed his lips.

“Do you want me to…”

She couldn’t manage to say it and could already feel her cheeks heat up at the simple thought of reciprocating. Spike seemed to understand though as he softly smiled at her and brushed a finger against her cheek.

“Only if you want to,” he murmured, but she could hear the hint of hope in his voice.

“I do want to. Just not sure how…”

It wasn’t the first time her inexperience had embarrassed her, but it had never been so acute. A little voice inside was reminding her of his words, months earlier, about how she needed to improve. She tried to push the memory away, but couldn’t totally forget.

“What if I’m… not good?” she whispered, slightly worried. “You did say I wasn’t…”

A finger across her lips stopped her from finishing that thought. “I lied,” he said blankly. “I was trying to hurt you, and I struck where I knew it would the most.”

He didn’t say more, but she heard it anyway. He had tried to hurt her as she had hurt him. She didn’t know how to answer him, whether she should apologize or not.  She hadn’t meant to hurt him; it had just felt like the only solution at the time.

Without a word, she kissed him, remaining at his lips only a second before she resolutely started her descent along his body.

The bed was too large without his Slayer in it and it smelled too much like her, like both of them combined, for Spike to be able to sleep after she had left in the morning. He reluctantly left it and went to the upper level, belatedly realizing that the couch’s scent might not be any more helpful. Then again, just about everything in the crypt reminded him of her, and he would have to suffer until he could be with her again.

For an instant, he hoped it was she; but when the door opened, the heavy steps told him that his guest was not Buffy – or anyone human. He jumped off the couch, his eyes widening in alarm as he instantly recognized the intruder.

“The Slayer seems quite interested in you,” Adam said without preamble as he came closer to Spike. “I am curious why.”

Furious thoughts battled in Spike’s mind as he pondered his answer. The demon was big, and according to Buffy very strong, but if Spike could only get past him…

“Why? For a simple reason,” he stated calmly. “Which is none of your business.”

On his last words, he sprung forward and punched Adam in the gut. The demon didn’t move; Spike’s hand felt as if a finger or two were broken.

“You are a vampire,” Adam continued as if he hadn’t noticed a thing. “She slays vampires. Yet, she does not slay you. Why is that?”

Right. Fighting wasn’t going to get him anywhere. Talking, on the other hand, might help. Maybe he could even get some information to give the Slayer.

“She knows I can’t hurt humans. And she uses me for information.”

Adam tilted his head, a disturbingly human gesture. “You allow yourself to be used?”

“Not much else I can do, is there? And staying close to her and her mates, I’ll be right there where I need to be when this damn chip stops working and I can hunt humans again.”

For long seconds, Adam remained silent, and Spike wondered whether the demon had believed him and what would happen if he hadn’t. Adam eventually seemed convinced as he said:

“Come with me. You will help me with my problem; I will help you with yours.”


The main problem remained that they had no way to get inside, and all the good will in the world wouldn’t help, if they remained at the door.

Then, Spike arrived, and two things changed. For one, he knew how to get inside the Initiative, quickly explaining that Adam had tried to recruit him. That made Oz’s rescue suddenly easier. For the other, everybody suddenly seemed tenser, as if whatever was going on was related to Spike.

Promising himself that he’d find the underlying cause of this once Oz was safe and sound, Giles helped fix the last details of the rescue mission. He had suspicions and doubts about it all, but for some reason he would need confirmation before he believed anything. That Buffy would allow herself to become close to another vampire with everything that was going on seemed just too unreasonable, even for her.

They freed the wolf, and from what I heard, he wasn’t in too bad shape. They also freed Finn, and that was more of a surprise; apparently, he had gone against orders and tried to help Oz escape. He was trying to show off for Buffy, no doubt about it. Bloody wanker.

I wasn’t there for the actual rescue; the Slayer had refused to let me follow them into the complex, and I didn’t really insist. Not my favorite place, nothing there for me. I returned to Giles’, knowing I would need to convince him so that he would help me make Buffy see reason. She joined us after she had helped the wanker find shelter in the old high school’s ruins, and as I had thought, she made things difficult.

The Watcher had seen my point rather quickly; having someone close to Adam was just too good of an opportunity to let pass. As I had suspected, Buffy was much trickier to persuade. As long as we were there, she refused to listen to us, repeating that taking the risk that Adam would realize I was playing him and dust me was too great, and that they would need me undusted for the final show. She left the flat in a huff, announcing that she had to patrol and that she didn’t want to hear anymore about it. I did not go after her; I was just too annoyed. Instead I shared a drink with Giles, planned with him what I could do to get information from Adam; then, I finally returned to my crypt.

She was there when I arrived; and she was upset.

“I don’t want you to do it,” were the first words she said. I didn’t particularly like them.

“Too bad then, luv, ‘cause I’m not asking your permission.”

That seemed to shock her, and for a few seconds she was silent, her mouth working soundlessly. I walked past her to the fridge, still annoyed and unwilling to make up easily. While my back was turned, she finally found her words.

“Remember the last time you played the double agent?” she said, her voice trembling. “It didn’t end so well, did it? You were poisoned, dying… I am not going through that again.”

Of course, I remembered. Hard to forget, wasn’t it? Had it been only a year since that incident? A year since I had tasted her blood?

“It won’t happen again,” I replied blankly, my back still to her as I emptied a mug of cold blood. “It can’t happen again. Even if I was crazy enough to try and bite you again, the chip…”

I didn’t hear her come closer, and her arms encircling me from behind startled me.

“It’s not that I’m worried about,” she murmured. “I’m not going through the fear of losing you. Not again.”

She was holding me tight, but I managed to turn in her embrace so I could kiss her forehead.

“Then you know how I feel every time you’re on patrol. I have to do this, Buffy. For you. For us. Because I can.”

She eventually relented, although I could tell she wasn’t happy about it. We agreed, also reluctantly, that it would be better to keep a low profile while I played Adam’s game. He knew where I lived, had already asked about the Slayer and me, there was no reason to give him stronger suspicions. I can’t say I liked any of it, but I just had to do it. As I had told her, this was something I could do, and there was too much these days that I couldn’t do not to seize this one chance. And if Adam could free me of the chip… well, that was just icing on the cake.