Chapter 7 -Little Sis
The new training room was nothing like Buffy would
ever have imagined. It was much better. The mats, equipment, even the
painted pictograms on the walls that she vaguely recognized as
protection designs – Giles would be proud, she would have to remember
to mention it casually and see how he reacted – everything was giving
her an incredible feeling of support and strength.
“Come on, Buffy. Let’s spar!”
Everything, but not everyone.
Refraining from rolling her eyes at Riley’s insistence at proving to
her that he was back in shape after his surgery, she turned to Giles
again and thanked him some more. Just as he was replying that it had
been a group effort and that she deserved no less, Spike entered
through the back door and Giles tilted his head toward him, indicating
without more words that he had helped too.
“Watcher! I thought you said you’d wait for me for the inauguration!”
His mock frown turned real when he noticed Riley, and to prevent any clashes, Buffy went to him.
“How did you get in?” she asked him, delighted to see him but a little
puzzled. “And how come you’re not all smoking under your blanket?”
Getting rid of said blanket, he gave her a lopsided grin and twirled a single key on its ring at the tip of his index.
“Rupert was kind enough to give me a key. And it just happens that
there’s a sewer entrance a few steps from the alley. Minimum burning
involved.”
He was practically beaming, and she returned his smile as she laced her arms around his neck.
“I was just saying thank you,” she murmured. “And thanks to you too.”
His hands settled at her waist as she pulled him in for a kiss, and the
contact sent sparks down her spine. She deepened the kiss, lightly
touching her tongue to his and forgetting where they were and with whom
until she noticed the throat clearing behind her. Blushing lightly, she
glanced back behind her; Spike didn’t let go and neither did she.
Xander had apparently returned to whatever he was building for the
shop, Giles was busy cleaning his glasses, and Riley’s face was too
grim to hide his distaste.
“Why don’t you get changed,” Giles suggested. “And then we can test your new training room.”
“I’ll spar with you,” Riley quickly offered, and immediately Buffy
could hear Spike’s soft growl of displeasure. He had voiced his
irritation at not being able to spar with her often enough that she
knew better than to accept Riley’s offer in front of him.
“Thanks, but I was supposed to practice meditation exercises today. Right, Giles?”
For half a second, her Watcher seemed startled but he seemed to catch on to what she was doing.
“Meditation, yes. That was our program for the day.”
Hoping that she could safely leave Spike and Riley in the same room for
a few minutes – with Giles around, it ought to be safe – she quickly
went to change. She would have to talk to Riley about his attitude, she
realized that, but she had no clue where to start and didn’t look
forward to that conversation. Couldn’t he understand already that she
and Spike were fine and that he didn’t have a chance with her?
“Hey,” she said quietly. “You’re there.”
“That I am,” he chuckled as he approached her. “Very observant of you to notice. Ready for patrol?”
He gave her a quick kiss, to which she barely responded. Something was off.
“You smell of incense,” he noticed.
“And you taste of cigarette,” she replied without her usual distaste. “Would you mind…”
She looked back toward the house and frowned slightly.
“Would you mind staying here and watching Dawn?”
It was his turn to frown. Just a few days before, she had been venting
about Dawn’s crush on him, and now she wanted him to play babysitter?
She seemed to realize he was going to protest, and she gave him the
look that never failed to make him cave in.
“Mom’s out and I’d rather not leave her alone. Who knows what she’d do.”
He shook his head. “Paint her nails green? Come on, Slayer, she’s big enough…”
“No she’s not. Remember last time? Harmony and the kidnapping and…”
He raised his hands in surrender. “Fine, fine. I’ll stay with her. But you owe me.”
She didn’t acknowledge the sultry tone his voice had taken, merely
brushed her lips against his cheek and then she was off, throwing a
thank you over her shoulder. Something twisted in Spike as he watched
her walk away. It was the same feeling he had when he watched her train
and was unable to help, a fluttering feeling of uselessness. True, she
had asked his help in keeping an eye on the little sis, but it wasn’t
the same as being there with her. And he would have given a lot to know
what was preoccupying her so. Why hadn’t she told him?
With a small, weary sigh, he entered the house and found Dawn sitting
on the next to last step of the staircase. He gave her a cautious
smile, but she didn’t answer to his greeting.
“You didn’t even want to stay with me,” she accused, her bottom lip
trembling slightly. “What did I do? Why don’t you like me anymore?”
He racked his fingers through his hair, unsure how to reply. He had
tried to distance himself from Dawn for her own good, but he doubted
she would understand that.
“Of course I still like you,” he said gruffly as he shrugged out of his coat. “It’s just…”
She watched him with big wet eyes; he shook his head and tried to soften his voice.
“I’m a vamp, nibblet,” he reminded her as he placed his coat on the
railing and gingerly sat near her, but not too close. “I don’t want you
getting comfortable around vamps. It’s not safe for you.”
“But I know you’d never hurt me!” she protested vehemently then added under her breath, “Unlike Buffy.”
“That I wouldn’t doesn’t mean other vamps…”
He realized then what she had said, and stopped, looking at her blankly.
“What do you mean, unlike Buffy?”
The tears seemed closer than ever as she cradled her arm.
“She hurt me,” she confided, sniffling. “And she said I wasn’t her sister. She was really mean to me.”
Spike’s first instinct was to refuse to believe her. Buffy was
sometimes impatient with Dawn’s foibles, but that was a long way from
hurting her sister. But then, why would Dawn lie? And there was the
fact that Buffy had been acting rather strangely when he had talked to
her a few minutes earlier.
“I’m sure she didn’t mean to hurt you,” he murmured, troubled, and ran
a hand through Dawn’s hair. “But I’ll talk to her. See what all of that
was about.”
The girl sniffled as she leaned against his shoulder, and Spike gave up
on trying to keep his distances. Just like Joyce reminded him of his
mother, despite the century and many differences that separated them,
Dawn was more a younger sibling to him than a friend, and nothing would
change that.
“How about some hot chocolate?” he suggested, hoping to cheer her up a little, and was rewarded by a bright smile.
As she slowly walked back toward her home, Buffy held her coat closed
tight over her chest, but it didn’t help her feel any warmer. The cold
that had seeped down into her bones, into her soul, had nothing to do
with the fresh night air, and was due instead to the chilling
revelation she had heard earlier.
Dawn wasn’t her sister. Not really. Merely something magical and
dangerous placed in Buffy’s life so that she would protect it. Protect
her. How could Buffy think of her as anything other than family when
she had all these memories of sisterly love and feuds? It was difficult
for her to accept what the dying monk had said, even after witnessing
during her trance the magic that had created Dawn. How would the others
react to the news? What would her mom say? She wasn’t feeling so well
already, and to hear that Dawn was not really her daughter would
certainly distress her even more. Same thing for her friends, and
Spike. They all had these bits of memory of things that had never
happened, it would all be so confusing if she told them… And Dawn
herself… She didn’t know, the monk had said. As far as she was
concerned, she was Dawn Summers, nothing more, and especially not the
Key, whatever that was.
A tiny bit of Buffy’s malaise lifted as she made her decision. She
wouldn’t tell Dawn, or her mom, or her friends. She had no reason to.
On the contrary, the less people that knew that Dawn was special, the
safer she would be from that madwoman who was looking for her. But
Buffy would need help, information, and that meant she had to tell
Giles.
She could hear light chattering in the living room as she entered the
house; her mom was back early, it seemed and Spike was still there,
watching over Dawn as Buffy had asked him earlier. Except then, she had
meant for him to watch Dawn and make sure she didn’t hurt her mom; and
now, she knew it was Dawn who would need protecting. A wave of warmth
passed through her as she realized that she wasn’t alone, that Spike
would help her keep Dawn safe.
Leaving them to their talk for a moment longer, she slipped into the
kitchen and called Giles, asking him to come to her house right away.
The sooner they started gathering information, the better prepared she
would be when the woman – the demon? – came for Dawn. And Buffy had no
doubts she would.
When she hung up the phone, she was startled to discover Spike right behind her.
“Letting your guard down?” he asked, and he wasn’t completely teasing.
“It’s been a long day,” she replied, forcing a smile.
His head tilted to the side, just a hint, and he appeared to scrutinize her.
“Are you alright?” he asked.
“Just tired.”
“Tired enough to hurt Dawn?”
She froze, blinked, stared. And realized that she had indeed been rough with her sister.
“I… didn’t mean…” she started, but realized it wasn’t true. At the
time, she had been certain that Dawn was the reason why their mom was
sick. “I was in a trance,” she explained ruefully. “Training stuff. Not
feeling exactly like myself. I’ll apologize to her.”
For just a little longer, Spike continued to observe her and finally gave her a small nod.
“She was pretty spooked.”
“I know. I was too.”
“Better now?”
“Much better,” she lied, and stepped close enough to hug him. As she
did, she silently thanked him for caring for Dawn like this, already
protecting her when he didn’t even know how much she needed protection.
“I’m going to stay here a bit longer,” she said, a whisper in the crook
of his neck. Talk with Dawn, and with mom a bit. Girls stuff. You want
to go back to the crypt and I’ll join you later?”
She had moved to the campus dorm a couple of weeks earlier, but she had started to spend more nights in his bed than in hers.
“Sure,” he answered, his voice strangely inexpressive. “I’ll do a quick
patrol and wait for you like the good little boyfriend I am.”
She pulled back and frowned as she looked at him. What was that about?
“I didn’t mean to boss you around,” she said carefully. “I’m sorry if that’s what it sounded like. Did it sound like that?”
He shook his head, avoiding her eyes as he brushed a strand of hair behind her ear.
“No, it didn’t sound…”
He cut himself short and looked straight at her.
“You know you can tell me anything, don’t you?” he asked quietly, almost pleadingly.
She didn’t know what had prompted the question; maybe Spike knew her
well enough to tell when something was preoccupying her. For an
instant, she imagined herself telling him about Dawn, but dismissed the
idea right away.
“I know,” she smiled, and gave him a light kiss.
The next half hour went in a flash, with Buffy’s mind still echoing the
monk’s words even as she apologized to Dawn and tried to reassure
herself that her mother was alright. Giles arrived at last, and she was
finally able to talk and empty her mind. Her revelations shocked him,
she could tell that much.
“Do we tell the others?” he finally asked, but she could already tell from the tone of his voice that he felt as she did.
“No. No one. They’d act weird around her and it’s… it’s safer if they don’t know.”
He nodded thoughtfully, but questioned her decision nonetheless. “No one? Not even Spike?”
She sighed, feeling a pang of guilt run through her.
“Not even Spike. He adores Dawn, I… I think he’d be brokenhearted. I don’t want him to be as confused as I am.”
So, that’s why she didn’t tell me, huh?
I knew, that night, that she was hiding something from me. I’m not
stupid. I had heard her on the phone, asking Giles to come to her home,
and the next minute she said she wanted girl talk. I knew she was lying
to me, that something was going on, but she didn’t take my hint and I
didn’t insist, even though it hurt to know she was keeping things from
me.
I didn’t insist either when she joined me in the crypt, but God knows
how much I wanted to. She tried to smile and be herself, but I could
tell that something was on her mind. We did no more than cuddle, that
night. She said she was tired, that she wanted me to hold her, and I
did. I gave her the comfort she wanted, without knowing why she needed
it. I held her tight, murmured to her everything would be all right
long after she had fallen asleep, before eventually joining her into
dreams.
I wish she had told me. It would have meant a lot if she had. She told
Giles and didn’t tell me. Yeah, I get it now, she was just trying to
protect both the Nibblet and me, but still…Would she have admitted what
was bugging her if I had insisted on knowing? Or would I have driven
her away by doing so? That would have been worse, so much worse than me
feeling disappointed when it finally all came up to the light.
Anyway, what could I have done if she had told me? Nothing. There was
nothing I could do, nothing more than what I was already doing, giving
love and comfort to one of them, my affection and protection to the
other. Knowing that Dawn wasn’t who I thought she was wouldn’t have
changed how I saw her – and indeed my feelings didn’t change when I
knew – but it wouldn’t have allowed me to help Buffy protect her any
better either.
So why am I still rambling about it?
Next Chapter ~ Heaven's Key index ~ Spuffy Menu
The characters and names used in these stories do not belong to me. All copyrights remain with Fox and Mutant Enemy. No profit is made from this fanfiction.
